"Lord, help"

(image cred:: Pinterest)

Lord, help. This is how the writing is starting off today. Seems like a good, desperate place to start, doesn’t it? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed this prayer. I pray this a lot. It’s basically my Hail Mary/last ditch prayer when I don’t know what to pray.

Lord, help.

When life gives me unexpected news, unexpected frustrations, unexpected pitfalls—Lord, help.

Lots of times I feel bad about praying this. I mean, I’m a writer, shouldn’t I come up with something more eloquent to say to the God of the universe? Something more writery? (Writery…it’s a word. Trust me, I’m a writer ;)) Shouldn’t my prayers be something more, I don’t know, lengthy? Lord, help. Sometimes I just say it over and over wishing I had more words but failing to find them.

There’s something about this little prayer that brings me to the place God always wants me: Surrender. When I choose surrender, it allows me to embrace the peace that comes with knowing God is in control. I so badly want to be in control of my life and everything that happens, but if God allowed that, there would be no room for Him. I spend so much of my life trying to make sure things go smoothly--for me, for Kyle, for my kids—I sometimes forget I’m not actually the one in charge. The thing is, when I’m in charge and ultimately fail, it’s all on me. The failure is mine and I get to carry the weight of it. This creates something toxic inside of me: shame. Not healthy shame. Toxic shame. The shame that tells me I can’t do anything right. I will never be good at ___________. I’m too forgetful. If only I were more like __________, then this wouldn’t happen. I’m the worst mom/wife/friend/________ ever. Ice cream. Ice cream would make me feel better. (After finishing ice cream) I’m so fat, why can’t I stop eating ice cream? Another failure. I’ll never be as thin as ___________. She’s probably the perfect mom/wife/friend. And down and down I go into the shame vortex. It’s crippling carrying all that shame. Lord, help.

The times that I can wrap my head around the fact that God is in control and I am not, something amazing happens. I am free. I’m free to screw up and let it roll off because I know my self-worth is not determined by my ability to get all the things done. I’m here to tell you surrender is where it’s at, friends. Knowing that your productivity/efficiency don't hold your value and worth is freedom.

But what about the unexpected circumstance that is not necessarily “our fault?” You know the things I’m talking about: the sudden death, the diagnosis, the accident, the divorce, all those things we don’t see coming. What then? Lord, help. If I had my way, none of those things would be allowed to happen. Those are the hard things. But you wanna know something? Without those things, I may never see my need for Jesus. I might never come before His throne, on my knees, begging, “Lord, help!” I wouldn’t cry out. I wouldn’t plead. Life would be easy and I would never live a life any deeper than what you could see on the surface. I would never experience true joy because I had never endured sorrow. I would never experience grace because I wouldn’t have a need for it. This would be an obscene waste of a life because grace…sigh. Grace is the most pure, intoxicating, and overwhelming thing to receive. It breathes life into dead souls. It is a good gift from a good Father. God is constantly making beauty from ashes sometimes we just have to be patient and wait for it.

The truth is we need help. Whether it’s help to check off our to-do list or help to breath in and out after receiving devastating news, we just need help. Why not go before the One who is known for being a Helper (Ps. 54:4)?

While “Lord, help” may be short in length, I think it is more than sufficient at communicating what we need.

And if you’re from the South, sometimes it comes out, “Lawd, help.” This is also perfectly acceptable ;)

Is there any place in your life you could use a little help?

-Courtney

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