Tag Archives: Trends

Nashville Clothing Crisis!

People of Nashville,

I wanted to make you aware of a clothing crisis going on in our area. I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. From what I can tell it’s affecting women ages 16-29, roughly, but who knows how fast it could spread to our children.

I saw signs of it on social media when people were posting prom pictures, but it wasn’t until recently that I saw it with my own eyes. I went with my family to the Nashville Sounds game and couldn’t stop staring. It was like I had walked into a filming of National Geographic.

So. Much. Skin.

Women were walking around with their bums hanging out of their high-waisted cut off shorts. I can only assume they were hand-me-downs from their mothers because they looked like something from the 80s. Are women here really walking around with 30+ year old tattered, holey shorts? They can’t afford new shorts that cover their WHOLE behinds? Guys, we can do better than this.

Other women were in such dire need of clothing they were wearing shirts that were obviously made for toddlers. It was appalling. Grown women so destitute they had to wear children’s clothing because they couldn’t afford a full shirt in their own size. Their concave bellies must be showing all the time because they were very, very tan although it’s not quite summer yet. They’ll probably have skin cancer from all the exposure. Can you imagine? Being forced to buy from the children’s department because it’s more affordable than adult clothing! These poor girls.

Girls were also resurrecting the infamous bodysuit. You know, basically the onesie made for an adult that was popular back in the ‘90s? Yep, that’s the one. I guess these girls were raiding their mothers’ closets and thought those would be a good throwback because who on earth would buy that tragic piece of clothing now? It’s saying to the world, “Hey World, I know you can’t see it but I have a front wedgie!” It was hard enough to snap those silly onesies when I had babies, why on earth would I want to do that to myself? And, lesbihonest, I’d have to be some sort of contortionist to make sure they were snapped correctly on myself. “Limber” has never been a word used to describe me.

Women of Nashville, I implore you to help with this clothing crisis! Do we need to hold a clothing drive for these poor young ladies? They shouldn’t have to walk the streets with their fannies exposed to the world. And we should be able to provide them with shirts that actually cover their sunken bellies! Oh sweet ladies, we need to help these young girls and get them clothes that cover the necessary body parts. Maybe we could have a sponsorship program like they did with the millennials (see the promo video here). Hmmmm, it’s a thought. If you have any ideas on how to solve this clothing crisis, please email me. Together we can end high waisted shorts and body suits.

-Courtney

*If the sarcasm was lost on you in this post, my apologies, let me be direct: Girls, put some clothes on.

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The fashion trend I just don’t get

I promise I haven’t forgotten that I haven’t told you my big news. It is killing me that I can’t tell you about it until all the kinks have been worked out. I’m waiting on the edge of my seat to get the green light! I’ve already constructed the email and it’s just waiting in my word docs to be sent out, like a sad puppy waiting to be adopted. So I pinky promise, when I hear the word “GO” I will be on it sending out the announcement I’ve been so excited to share! And if you still are not on my email list, SIGN UP NOW!!!! (Hint: if you sign up today you might just get a little sneak peek into my surprise;) ) Here’s the linky loo to make it easy: http://bit.ly/CourtneysEmailList

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Moving on…

Can we talk about the bralette? Is that how it’s even spelled? I was at a concert last weekend and every girl between the ages of 16-22 had one on. If you aren’t familiar with this article of clothing, let me break it down for you. It’s like a very lacy bra with a halter lace strap and it has lace that comes down around the torso. Basically lingerie. Except that instead of covering it up, they are showcasing it. Perhaps I don’t understand this because I can’t imagine wanting to draw attention to my back gills. Perhaps.

Is this the new socially acceptable way to show your bra without being trampy? I don’t get it. Is it supposed to be like a camisole? Is it just a bra? Is it so girls don’t feel as skanky wearing a backless shirt? I just, sigh. I guess I’m getting too old to understand fashion. From tall, athletic socks with Sperrys for boys to high-waisted short shorts for girls, I feel very out of the loop. Rather, I’m not out of the loop as in I don’t know about these fashion trends, I just don’t understand them. Probably like my parents didn’t understand why I wanted to tight roll my jeans. Although I KNEW pleated acid wash jeans would look amazing with a tight roll at the bottom with my brown moccasins, my mom I’m sure just…sighed. So that’s where I’m at with the bralettes.

I’m sighing.

To me, they look skanky when you can see them in a backless shirt. There I said it. You may disagree and that’s fine. To me, it looks like one more way girls are sexualizing themselves for boys. Teenage boys do not need more help thinking about sex. From what I understand, it’s pretty much at the forefront of their brains at all times. So I know some girls are clueless and just think, “I would look so cute in that lacy bra/shirt, I might as well get a backless shirt to show it off.” Bless. It’s sweet that their innocence is still intact. A lesson to you young ladies: Don’t give away all your goodies for free. Wanna know what people do with free stuff? They play with it for a little while then throw it in the trash. Let’s be better than that, ladies. Be more than eye candy. Know your worth. Value the body God gave you.

(Mic drop)

I’m out.

 

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