Tag Archives: Teenagers

To the parents of teenagers

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To the parents of teenagers,

I owe all of you an apology. I was naïve. I was proud. I spoke of that which I did not know. I would listen as you talked about your teen with desperation in your voice at how they had somehow changed overnight. They were now these angsty, hormonal humans who could cut you with their eyes and under their breath mumblings. The looks. The sarcasm. The eye rolls. Honestly, I judged you. I would never have said anything out loud, but in my mind I thought, “Well, maybe if you talked to them more. Maybe if you monitored their every move more. Maybe if you taught them about Jesus more…”

Bless my little heart.

What can I say? I had no idea. I broke the Mom code. I judged you without having walked in your shoes. I’m so ashamed I had these thoughts that it was something YOU did to make your teenager live on the brink of emotional breakdown at all times. I thought you had some control over their stubborn will and annoyed sighing. What did you do to make them stomp off and curse you under their breath?

Oh, it’s called you were being a GOOD parent? But I thought it felt good to be a good parent.

Lies. If someone tells you they are slaying this parenting thing and they never really have any issues with their kids, they’re either liars or really bad parents. You are allowed to feel like an amazing parent for one hot minute. That’s it. You get one minute when all your kids are good and you’re good and your marriage is good, then something will fall apart. It’s SCIENCE.

Maybe I’m writing this to make myself feel better since I’m on the cusp of having a teenager myself. Moods are changing, eyes are being rolled, and general annoyance is heightened. It’s coming. I feel it in my bones and I need to know grace exists when my kid is the one screwing it up. I’m going to be the one needing handholding from those brave mamas that have gone before me. I will need reminding that my identity is not in the hands of my children; it’s in the hands of the God who made me. And my children’s identity isn’t in my hands. I don’t need to be making them into who I want them to be; I should be praying for them and giving them the freedom to be who God wants them to be. That last statement…that’s the hard one. Giving them freedom. The constant questioning of when to give them slack on the rope and when to reign them in is a doubt-filled struggle. And if I’m not going to get it right every time, how can I expect them to always make the right choices? Oh mamas, how do we do this? What are we to do with these children who are turning into adults? We pray. We cry. We open our hands and return to God what was His all along. This is when we begin to trust God with our kids, and when we remember He’s writing their story.

Maybe I’m writing this so I will remember that very thing. He’s writing their story just like He’s writing mine.

Sheesh.

Now I know why no one tells you about actual parenting at your baby shower. Mothers everywhere would be Googling “How to keep your baby in utero longer.” I think I need a “teenager shower” where older, wiser moms can come over and give me advice/condolences about the teenage years. And instead of diapers, everyone just brings me $20 because THESE HUMANS COST SO MUCH MONEY!!!!

Anyone else watching their children turn into little adults before their very eyes?

-Courtney

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The fashion trend I just don’t get

I promise I haven’t forgotten that I haven’t told you my big news. It is killing me that I can’t tell you about it until all the kinks have been worked out. I’m waiting on the edge of my seat to get the green light! I’ve already constructed the email and it’s just waiting in my word docs to be sent out, like a sad puppy waiting to be adopted. So I pinky promise, when I hear the word “GO” I will be on it sending out the announcement I’ve been so excited to share! And if you still are not on my email list, SIGN UP NOW!!!! (Hint: if you sign up today you might just get a little sneak peek into my surprise;) ) Here’s the linky loo to make it easy: http://bit.ly/CourtneysEmailList

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Moving on…

Can we talk about the bralette? Is that how it’s even spelled? I was at a concert last weekend and every girl between the ages of 16-22 had one on. If you aren’t familiar with this article of clothing, let me break it down for you. It’s like a very lacy bra with a halter lace strap and it has lace that comes down around the torso. Basically lingerie. Except that instead of covering it up, they are showcasing it. Perhaps I don’t understand this because I can’t imagine wanting to draw attention to my back gills. Perhaps.

Is this the new socially acceptable way to show your bra without being trampy? I don’t get it. Is it supposed to be like a camisole? Is it just a bra? Is it so girls don’t feel as skanky wearing a backless shirt? I just, sigh. I guess I’m getting too old to understand fashion. From tall, athletic socks with Sperrys for boys to high-waisted short shorts for girls, I feel very out of the loop. Rather, I’m not out of the loop as in I don’t know about these fashion trends, I just don’t understand them. Probably like my parents didn’t understand why I wanted to tight roll my jeans. Although I KNEW pleated acid wash jeans would look amazing with a tight roll at the bottom with my brown moccasins, my mom I’m sure just…sighed. So that’s where I’m at with the bralettes.

I’m sighing.

To me, they look skanky when you can see them in a backless shirt. There I said it. You may disagree and that’s fine. To me, it looks like one more way girls are sexualizing themselves for boys. Teenage boys do not need more help thinking about sex. From what I understand, it’s pretty much at the forefront of their brains at all times. So I know some girls are clueless and just think, “I would look so cute in that lacy bra/shirt, I might as well get a backless shirt to show it off.” Bless. It’s sweet that their innocence is still intact. A lesson to you young ladies: Don’t give away all your goodies for free. Wanna know what people do with free stuff? They play with it for a little while then throw it in the trash. Let’s be better than that, ladies. Be more than eye candy. Know your worth. Value the body God gave you.

(Mic drop)

I’m out.

 

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