I’m not sure who coined this phrase but I remember hearing it in college and thinking, “Yes! That is sooo it!” Valentine’s Day for some is the loathed Singles Awareness Day for others. I’ve been married for a while but not so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be single on Valentine’s Day. It stinks. It’s a day that is perfectly lovely if you have your “person”, but if you don’t, it feels like someone just pointed out the big zit in the middle of your forehead. You know it’s there, obviously, but you don’t really want to talk about it.
I don’t know what it’s like for dudes on S.A.D. but for girls, it can get tricky. There are 3 angles you can play to as a singleton on S.A.D.
The first is “Lonely Singleton”. She is the girl who’s made everyone aware she is single and unhappy. She’s not exactly a delight to be around. If you’re not careful she will suck the life right out of you. Her play to get pity is like no other. She will always one-up your sad story with her miserable plight. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel badly that these singletons are so unhappy. It stinks being lonely; thinking that everybody but you has somebody and that they’re all living this amazing life full of rainbows and kittens. So let’s debunk the myth shall we? If everyone that had their “person” were unequivocally happy, couples would be together forever. Last time I checked the divorce rate was above 0% so clearly having your “person” isn’t the key to happiness.
The second singleton is the “Bitter Betty”. She’s been burned by love one too many times. Watch out for this one, dudes. She will chew you up and spit you out then make you pay for dessert. She’s tough and she’s not afraid to let you know she doesn’t need a man to take care of her. She’s girl power with a chip on her shoulder. The thing about this girl is that usually she’s a big softy on the inside but because she’s been hurt she builds up walls to protect herself. Isn’t this what we all do when we’ve been hurt? Like walls can protect us from feeling pain. She needs someone to handle her heart with great care because when she gives it away it’s a big deal for her. I get this girl. Not in the angry-burned-by-love way, but in the building walls way.
The third singleton is the “Whole Package”. This girl is the bomb diggidy. She doesn’t have her “person” but she recognizes that life goes on and if they spend too much time dwelling on it they might miss it. These girls get it. Rather than focus on what they don’t have, they spend time investing in what they do have. These girls are intentional in their relationships, work hard in their careers, and tend to be people that are up for anything. This doesn’t mean they’re never lonely or sad that they don’t have their “person”, it just means they’d rather live their lives than sit in the waiting room. It’s these girls that make me miss my time with girlfriends and reminds me how much my girl relationships fill my soul. “Whole Package” girls, keep being awesome!
So regardless of which singleton you are, I hope this S.A.D. proves to be better than any other year. Remember that just because you don’t have a “person” doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there that need you to make them feel special. Maybe this Valentine’s Day could be about you doing something special for someone else (family member, friend, coworker…) rather than waiting for someone to do something for you. And if you have no other reason to acknowledge S.A.D., remember this:
Let this married hag let you in on a little secret: Valentine’s Day is for the dating couples. Once you’ve committed to your “person” for life, Valentine’s Day is a day to order pizza and stay in your sweats/yoga pants. I know it’s pretty glamorous.
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